Wednesday, 12 March 2014

It is not yet goodbye

There have been many times in the past few months, when I had thought of quitting blogging altogether. My last post was nearly 6 months back. Life has been on a tumultuous ride since the past few years and I have been trying to hold on to my sanity, with all my strength. Many times, I did get an itch to write, but it slowly got drowned in the cacophony of stress, anger and disappointments.

Shilpa Garg from "A Rose is a Rose is a Rose" recently showcased my blog on her super successful blog. She wrote sweet and kind words, and I am very thankful to her for sending love and readers my way. Her blog post and the lovely readers were a motivation enough to scratch that WRITING itch. Thanks Shilpa, for prodding me to wake up my blog from its slumber.

My old blog readers have already read about my struggle with infertility and I have openly talked about it in my posts "My experiments with infertility" and "Dealing with infertility" . I wrote of my heartache in this post "A dull ache in my heart" of how I long to be a mother. The point of talking about this right now is that it is exactly one month today, since I have undergone a hysterectomy, to remove my uncooperative uterus and one ovary.

I lost my strength to battle diseases like Adenomyosis and Endometriosis, which had left me crippled physically and mentally, for the past 7 years. I finally gathered my strength to undergo surgery when all other means to get better just did not work anymore. Being in pain everyday not only affected my relationships, it also sapped my confidence and I was always angry with the cards life had dealt me. My quality of life had deteriorated so much that I used to dread house guests, travelling and going out of my house. My bed and my pain medication were my best friends. I avoided social engagements even though I have always loved being around people. Joining a Yoga class was somewhat helpful but did nothing to alleviate the pain.

It has been one month now and I am recuperating and I feel so much better. Even though I am losing hair like a moulting dog, I am not in pain. I might very soon have to go wig hunting, but that hardly matters anymore. Just not having nagging pain in your lower abdomen, legs and back all the time has helped me to be so much more positive about life. Though I get tired easily, I still am in a much better state of mind.

Photo Courtesy: Freedigitalphotos.net
I am excited about the things I always wanted to pursue and places I wanted to see. I am waiting to get my strength back and am raring to go. The future seems full of possibilities and adventures waiting to unfold. I got a new lease on life and this time, I will live it to the fullest, like I always wanted to.

75 comments:

rachnap said...

Vini, it will not be goodbye. We won't let you stop blogging. I have always admired your spirit. It will see you through this recuperation. I want to meet up with the cheerful Vinita that I met last year. Look forward to meeting you soon. Here's hugs and some more love only for you!

ektakhetan said...

It will not be a goodbye but very soon a good riddance to all your sufferings. Here's sending you lots of love and prayers for a happy and speedy recovery. Get well soon.

umashankar pandey said...

I have read your posts before and I did notice the silence. Speaking of 'cacophony of stress, anger and disappointments', don't I know that feeling? Here is wishing the best in life to you! Never say never again!

A Walk into the Woods said...

Love, hugs and lot of prayers, Vinita.
This shall pass too.

Bhavya N said...

Wishing you a speedy recovery and I'm sure you will go ahead and fulfill all your dreams and ambitions. God Bless and come back to us, for us

Vidya Sury said...

Vinita, it is a new beginning with lots of possibilities. I am so glad you are not in pain. Many hugs! Bloom! ♥

Aditi Kaushiva said...

The ending note speaks of a woman who is not a quitter and has the courage to say 'yes' to life even when she has been pushed till the edge. I admire your attitude and pray for a speedy recovery. Lots of love and hugs!

Rainbow Hues said...

Take good care Vinita. Hope you recover soon and grace us with your bright and beautiful smile again. Sending virtual hugs and love all the way from my heart to yours!

Sheethal susan said...

You're gonna be super healthy very soon... and going to pursue all your dreams... sending lots f hugs a prays your way... and no, don't even think about blog quiting...when a whole lot of bloggers are around you to wrap you with more n more love :)

Joe Zach said...

What made me cross over was the simple mantra "take one day at a time" Believe me it works.

naina madan said...

Way to go, Vinita! Wishing you super quick and hearty recovery. God bless you.

Deepak Amembal said...

Hey great to see you back doing what you love!! Cheers to that!!
Looking forward to your wonderful posts now!!

janu said...

You are back with a bang. You have a ready smile and spending time with you like we did during our visit to Lonavala, no one could make out your struggles or your pain. You are a vibrant person....heal fast. Take some more time and start blogging.

Fab said...

No, it isn't yet goodbye. I love that you sound so positive and looking forward to doing things you enjoy, leaving behind all your suffering. Here's wishing you a complete and speedy recovery!! Looking forward to hear more from you.

rajrupa said...

I wont say I have known your pains but i can understand what you have gone through. Lots of love and hugs to you. This is not a goodbye indeed. But just a new beginning to a better life.

Ash said...

All the best Vinita. I hope this too shall pass in your life, and you are back in full form. Like they said in Forest Gump.. Life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll get.
Take care.

kalpana solsi said...

You have a second lease of life and make the utmost of it. and no saying good-byes.

Juxtatcr said...

All our prayers are with you dear. Hope you recover quickly and start a new voyage of your life. There is happiness around the corner, you just need to maintain this positivity. <3

richasingh said...

You are on road to recovery physically and mentally. This is all that matters in our struggles with life. Years down the line you will look back and see all this in different light, something that will motivate you in your darkest hours. I am telling you this from a personal experience... and yes if writing sets you free then don't stop doing that....


Richa

preetilata said...

A tight hug to you lazy pineapple. All my love and best wishes are there with you. ♡♡♡

Afshan Shaik said...

We will bring you back to blogging some how!
I admire the way U gathered strength to face it. U sure are an inspiration and life is full of possiblitie
Take care and get well soon vinita

Nima Das said...

Hope and pray for your recovery.Thinking positive about life is its main essence

Pankti Mehta said...

I know you may feel like killing me after reading this but wait for few years....when you will look back at this time, you will realize that whatever happens, happens for good. At least I have experienced when I look back at the worst period of my life. Although nothing beats couple of events of my life!

Pooja said...

Hugs Vinita. A lot of possibilities await you and they are going to be good this time around. :)

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Pooja:) Yes, I am eagerly waiting for it...

Lazy Pineapple said...

I don't have such violet thoughts Pooja :P I believe time is the best healer. I don't know if whatever happened was for the best but I believe that they were lessons I needed to learn in order to move forward..

Lazy Pineapple said...

I agree with you wholeheartedly on that. I will confess that there were many dark days when I wanted to give up...

Lazy Pineapple said...

Rachna :) with friends like you it would be difficult to leave blogging...Yes I will mostly make a trip down south this year. Thanks for sharing my post and now I am showered with love and affection from such wonderful ladies. I feel blessed...thanks for this...

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Ekta :) I am glad I did not stop blogging...

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Ghata :) I am flattered that you feel that way about me...

Pankti Mehta said...

That's the spirit :) BTW, it's Pankti ;)

Roshni Aamom said...

I'm glad that you took the step to deal with your pain. I cannot begin to imagine what you have been through. We will definitely be waiting for your next post!! {{{hugs}}}

Jayne said...

I had no idea you were going through such personal struggles. So happy to see that you've turned a corner and are excited about the future.

Tweetsmom said...

Considering all the things you have dealt with lately, you certainly have a very uplifting and positive attitude. Bless your heart! ♥ Stay strong and follow the path you are on to explore what God has in store for you.

purbaray said...

We can only imagine your pain and struggle. It's you who had to endure it. I can only express my admiration for your fortitude and your resolve to focus on the positive.

A big hug to you.

Lazy Pineapple said...

Hugs back at ya Nabanita... I believe all of us are brave. Thanks for your kind words

Lazy Pineapple said...

Shilpa...thanks sweetie..you have always been a big support. I don't think I need to write more. You already know how I feel about our friendship :) ♥♥♥

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Uma... yeah we all go through painful moments in life. I believe the support of good friends and family helps us ride all the storms..

Lazy Pineapple said...

Punam..I so agree with you on that. Nothing stays forever :) hugs and ♥ to you...

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Bhavya :) for your wishes and kind words

Lazy Pineapple said...

Vidya : not being in pain is such a relief...I so agree about new beginnings..Hugs back at you

Lazy Pineapple said...

Aditi : Love and hugs to you too...life teaches us to fight and survive...I learnt it along the way

Rickie Khosla said...

Very sad to hear about your endless travails with pain, Vini. But I am very glad to hear that all of that may now be a thing of the past!
My best wishes to you for a speedy recovery. And also for all the marvelous things that you must have lined up to do soon!

farila said...

Sending you hugs and love Vinita. You are one of the first bloggers I have read on the Indian bloggers horizon. I am looking forward to meet you when you come down to Bangalore next time.

chattywren said...

You've walked a long hard path Vinita, and you've been a lady of immense courage. Wish you a speedy recovery and good health! Sending you positive vibes.

Psych Babbler said...

LP...thank you for sharing...you have had a very rough time but it's good to share the struggles and the pain...sometimes you will find that you are not alone. A friend of mine is currently undergoing tests for endometriosis and fertility and the like as she and her husband are about to give IVF a go...in the mean time, she has been reading blogs of other women who have experienced similar difficulties so as to not feel alone. I am so glad you are not saying goodbye yet...truly enjoy reading your blog and have missed it! :)

C. Suresh said...

Welcome back Vinita! May the days to come be full of happiness

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Naina :)

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Deepak :)

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Janaki....you are sweet to say such kind words..

Lazy Pineapple said...

I agree Roshan...I am so moved by the outpouring of love on this blog..I feel blessed to have friends like you to keep pushing me...

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks a TON Fab :)

Lazy Pineapple said...

Yes I agree Rajrupa...this is a new beginning..

Lazy Pineapple said...

So true Ash..life is like that...looking forward to writing again..

Lazy Pineapple said...

A tight hug back to you Preetilata :) Thanks

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Kalpana :)

Lazy Pineapple said...

I agree Juxtatcr..thanks :)

Lazy Pineapple said...

Writing has always been a good outlet for me...I remembered just when I sat down to write this post...I believe life constantly tests you..we just have to keep hoping for the best..

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Vaisakh :)

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Afshan :) you gals are so sweet and inspiring...

Lazy Pineapple said...

oops...sorry...

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Roshni...I have been missing reading your posts too...

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Jayne....I am eager to do many things I missed....will be back to reading your posts too..I miss them

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Tweetsmom..for these kind words

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Purba..how I miss reading you...will be back very soon

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Rickie...I always love reading your updates on FB ..they are so humorous :)

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Suzy :)

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Farila :) You are also the first few I read...yes we should meet up..hopefully this year :) hugs back at you...

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Chattywren :)

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks PB..I miss reading your posts too....you have been one of the first bloggers I started reading when I started blogging...


Hope your friend has success in her IVF..Tell her to stay strong and positive.
Thanks for your kindness. Hugs to you..

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks for your kind words...Suresh...

Lazy Pineapple said...

Ani..no my friend it is people like you who bring me back because of their friendship and support. Thanks :)

Ash said...

I've come back after quite a break too, Vinita! Don't quit. This is such a lovely outlet for your thoughts.

I haven't blogged for a while too, but got back to it recently... do stop by my blog too! Been ages since you visited!

Ash said...

I've come back after quite a break too, Vinita! Don't quit. This is such a lovely outlet for your thoughts.

I haven't blogged for a while too, but got back to it recently... do stop by my blog too! Been ages since you visited! www.e-pinion.com

kizi3 said...

Great. Really your post is very helpful.

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