I always had a huge circle of friends while growing up. My parents were always aghast during my birthday parties by the sheer number of people who came down to wish me. I gathered friends wherever I went, my tuition class, guitar class, computer class, school, college and even in the lane where I lived. At that time,life was a wonderful ride filled with giggles and gossip. As I grew older, many of those friends became good friends, while I lost touch with a few as they drifted away. A handful of them especially the women friends became my close friends,with whom I could spend hours, talking about anything under the Sun. These friendships grew strong for many years as each one of us finished studies, got jobs and got married. Things started to change when life became complicated because of added responsibilities and as priorities changed. I still managed to hold on to a few precious good friends. All this while, I did have short term friendships that were not strong enough to form deep bonds.
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I know most of you can relate very well with what I have written. Each one of us have gone through this stage in life and grappled with many questions in our head about the "the death of a friendship".
Why did it happen? Was it because of something I said or did? Why did we drift apart? Was it because of something I didn't do?
You try your best to keep it alive. Your mails to your friend go unanswered and you get to hear "I am very busy" as the excuse, which your friend throws at you. You want to pick up the phone and talk to your friend, just like old times, but you don't because you don't want your friend to feel you are needy. Even when you do get in touch, you talk like acquaintances and not like people who once ate from the same plate and who shared their innermost fears. You are left feeling that someone has stamped your forehead with a "Rejected" stamp.
One of my favorite movies "You've got mail" has these wonderful lines which I can relate to the "The death of my friendships".
Kathleen Kelly: [writing to "NY152"] People are always telling you that change is a good thing. But all they're really saying is that something you didn't want to happen at all... has happened. My store is closing this week. I own a store, did I ever tell you that? It's a lovely store, and in a week it will be something really depressing, like a Baby Gap. Soon, it'll just be a memory. In fact, someone, some foolish person, will probably think it's a tribute to this city, the way it keeps changing on you, the way you can never count on it, or something. I know because that's the sort of thing I'm always saying. But the truth is... I'm heartbroken. I feel as if a part of me has died, and my mother has died all over again, and no one can ever make it right.
My friendships that died are also like baby gaps, they are just a memory now and I am heartbroken too. All that is left is memories,which I need to let go of.
The loss of a friendship can be very devastating.When there is death of a friendship, especially one that is cherished and nurtured for a long time, it feels that some part of your heart died with it. You need to mourn that loss in order to move on and learn to live with that loss.