Monday, 26 April 2010

Some Other Dude Did It

I swear, 'Some other Dude did it'(SODDI), I was not even there, I have been framed. This is a conspiracy and now I will be called a cold-hearted killer.

Oh! have I lost you? Hang on, as the mystery unfolds...

 One morning as I stepped in the bath tub to have a shower I was greeted by a many legged guest who looked like a younger brother to the picture below and was trying to oust me from my own bathtub by scurrying hither thither.


I don't take kindly to such behavior and so I blasted the poor guy with a jet of hot water and totally drowned the sucker. His death was quick and hopefully painless.

 But now, I am being haunted by his death, I have nightmares in which  hundreds of his relatives are out to attack me and some of them are vicious and look like this.

 
The nightmare starts with a cold dark night. As I am running through the forest, I hear leaves rustle, I turn to see a giant Spider running towards me. I am running with my heart pounding and I see more and more of these creatures chasing me in the darkness. I always get up with a cold sweat. 

Damn! Harry Potter, that 'Aragog' totally creeped me out. I am resembling a Raccoon these days with dark circles the size of saucers under my eyes.

Last night, I finally stopped running and faced the giant creature, I asked him why he was chasing me. He said you are a murderer, you killed my son...I said...how could it be? I was not even there, some other dude did it. He was not convinced and told me of a witness and  that I was indeed there as his brother has seen the murder from the ceiling.

(I quickly consulted my lawyer and he told me that it is quite easy these days to be a terrorist and  a mass murder and still deny about it, just go for SODDI defense, learn from Kasab). I said to the creature, I pledge innocence and  that I was far away from the scene where the murder was committed. I am being framed, now could he just leave me alone. He vanished and  I woke up with a smile on my face. 

(I am so going to die and be eaten by spiders, plus am ready for the hate comments from all you nature lovers. Frankly, I still hate these 8 legged creatures and would kill again with vengeance).

30 comments:

Chatterbox said...

Hilarious post LP :)
Totally loved it :D :D

I hope your lawyer is good enough get you freed from the murder charges as well as nightmares of these 8 legged monsters :)

Keep up the good work :)

Cheers!!

Aparna said...

No hate mails, only congratulatory ones. I hate these creepy crawlies too...

sonal said...

Keep the creepy crawlies coming! i am loving it!

Lakshmi Rajan said...

wake up LP! Wake up ! I never knew you have this habit of sleep-blogging :P

Or did you watch the movie Archanophobia ;)

hitesh rawat said...

u killed it........u killed it....and that spider mommy was here asking me who's the killer.....??

now u gonna...reply to the mommeh cockroach i killed last friday

hitesh rawat said...

you shld also sing the Shaggy song.....it wasn't me

Nalini Hebbar said...

from the bathtub to the blog...you have made a martyr of him!

Nish said...

"The curse of the spider's dad" should be te movie you should be starring in ;)

Samadrita said...

What a post ma'am.It completely blew me!
A fitting jab at Kasab's 'some other dude did it' theory!
And btw I hate not only spiders but all kinds of insects and bugs.Let's pray for their complete annihilation from the face of the earth.Ugh!

bollywoodstylediaries said...

i hate spiders too so I am on ur side on this one..let me know if u need a character witness:-)

(¯`•._.•[Raajii]•._.•´¯) said...

I am so with the spider on this one... why would you do that? You didnt have to kill him, you know... there were other ways to get rid of him :-).
Poor thing :-)

Anjali said...

Oh! Vins, in that case I am so going to hell ;)
I ruthlessly slaughter those eight legged buggers and flies that somehow manage to enter the house in warm weathers.
Good post. Loved it :)

savvy said...

You . . You. . Racist . . . Uh sorry ,my bad. . . U Speciest. . . How could u take away the life of an innocent spider kid who just wanted to have a good bath in ur tub. . And then how could u use the same trick that Kasab tried to use to save urself. . How could u smile after committing such an inhumane act. . . Peta are u reading this. . .

savvy said...

Ok. . Ok. . I admit i loved the post too . . . .

magiceye said...

now you are cursed by the creeps!
blame it on the evil neighbor!!

Aditi said...

Loved your post.. The incy wincy spiders really freak me out..!! :)

Lazy Pineapple said...

CB: Thanks :) Oh what murder? remember SODDI?
heheh...

Aparna: ha..I am building up a team of creepy crawly haters :)

Sonal: Thanks Dear :)

LR: Ahhh no sleep blogging my friend...just tried a different style of writing :)

Hitesh : Do not forget the defense SODDI.. Arre learn something from Kasab Yaar..

Sammy: You are the only one who seems to have got my JAB at Kasab :) thanks...I feel our wavelengths match...

Sonali: hahah...well will surely do that :)

Lazy Pineapple said...

Raaji: my defense is SODDI..I was nt even there remember :P

Anju: Thanks sis :)

Savvy: Just my defense friend...I was not even there...hehhe so I don't no what you are talking about :P

Magiceye: brrr I am soooo scared now...hee hee

Aditi : Thanks Dear :)

JoBo said...

.. a word of caution, sometimes these creepy crawlies disappear down the drain giving one the false sense of security that it's dead...............only to be crawling up you leg half way through your shower..........look out - next time and............every time!!!!!

The knife said...

My back problems started when I tried to kill a cockroach with my slippers. I succeeded. And was cursed

writerzblock said...

Hee hee hee... that was really good :-) I hate these creatures too, but when I do flush them, I explain to my little boy that I am not a murderess but I am just facilitating the spider to do down the drain and join his family who live in the Ocean. Its a noble act, you see?
LOL!!

Mr. Stupid said...

Since this is a very sensitive topic, I am going to comment carefully... you killed a Spider? Oh No!

Anyways, make sure you stick to what you said. He might return today. Tell him its been an year since you've taken a bath. That means you were never in the Bathroom and never killed the creature.

Tada.. you're innocent... LOL
Loved your post. Take Care!:)

karan a said...

Totally hilarious!

Anu said...

ZOMG! You are so doomed ! :P tee hee, funny post, funnier ending :D

Lazy Pineapple said...

jobo: hehe...yes I will remember your word of caution :) welcome to my blog :)

The Knife: ahhh oh no no...you did not you SODDI defense...

Mr. Stupid: hehhe..I likeeeeee it a lot a very lot...

Karan: Thanks :)

Anu: Thanks dear :) I am glad you had a good laugh...

Smita said...

Nautanki :D

Psych Babbler said...

Lol! No hate comments from me. For me spider = kill. You get that way when you live in a country that has two of the deadliest spiders i.e. Funnel Web spider and the Redback. And because I don't really know what they look like, every spider has to die!!! That's my motto!!! =D P.S. That spider doesn't look as scary as a Huntsman. Have you seen one?

RepublicOfChic said...

Haha.. This post is hilarious! :)

Rajendra Raikwar said...

good one

umashankar pandey said...

Our scriptures say, it's best to follow the great. You did well and good riddance!

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