Monday, 26 April 2010
I swear, 'Some other Dude did it'(SODDI), I was not even there, I have been framed. This is a conspiracy and now I will be called a cold-hearted killer.
Oh! have I lost you? Hang on, as the mystery unfolds...
One morning as I stepped in the bath tub to have a shower I was greeted by a many legged guest who looked like a younger brother to the picture below and was trying to oust me from my own bathtub by scurrying hither thither.
I don't take kindly to such behavior and so I blasted the poor guy with a jet of hot water and totally drowned the sucker. His death was quick and hopefully painless.
But now, I am being haunted by his death, I have nightmares in which hundreds of his relatives are out to attack me and some of them are vicious and look like this.
The nightmare starts with a cold dark night. As I am running through the forest, I hear leaves rustle, I turn to see a giant Spider running towards me. I am running with my heart pounding and I see more and more of these creatures chasing me in the darkness. I always get up with a cold sweat.
Damn! Harry Potter, that 'Aragog' totally creeped me out. I am resembling a Raccoon these days with dark circles the size of saucers under my eyes.
Last night, I finally stopped running and faced the giant creature, I asked him why he was chasing me. He said you are a murderer, you killed my son...I said...how could it be? I was not even there, some other dude did it. He was not convinced and told me of a witness and that I was indeed there as his brother has seen the murder from the ceiling.
(I quickly consulted my lawyer and he told me that it is quite easy these days to be a terrorist and a mass murder and still deny about it, just go for SODDI defense, learn from Kasab). I said to the creature, I pledge innocence and that I was far away from the scene where the murder was committed. I am being framed, now could he just leave me alone. He vanished and I woke up with a smile on my face.
(I am so going to die and be eaten by spiders, plus am ready for the hate comments from all you nature lovers. Frankly, I still hate these 8 legged creatures and would kill again with vengeance).
Labels: Humor Quotient