Hubby and I will be celebrating our 10th Wedding anniversary this December. It has been a ride full of ups and downs, exploring new cities each year ( hubby had a transferable job), new people to meet , settle down for a brief period and to be uprooted again. I tagged along, albeit with a bit of screaming and cussing.
In spite of moving to different cities, the quintessential nature of an Indian has remained the same. An Indian by nature is an inquisitive person and the intrinsic good nature can be perceived as being nosy. They will never falter while asking you about extremely personal things, right from your salary to your relationship with your in-laws. There is no malice in the way the way we Indians shoot straight questions without missing a beat. Its just a way of showing concern and making the other person feel comfortable.
Sometimes this well practiced art of shooting straight questions can be extremely annoying. Countless number of times I have been at the wrong side of this question " You've been married x years, no kids? why?" . This has been asked by friends, relatives, friends I met on chat after number of years and not to forget nosy aunties.
This question is like a 'Sach ka Samna' question. Damned if I answer, damned if I don't. What will be the best answer to this question?? It's a slippery slope. Here are a few samples of situations I've faced.
Me:We tried but its not happened yet.
Nosy Indian: Did you go a fertility expert?? You should. Don't lose hope. I have a friend whose daughter/ sister tried for 8 years and see now she has twins blah blah blah
Me: I don't care about children. I am happy.
NI: What?? How can you say that?? life is incomplete without children.
Me: Mind your own Business.
NI: Oh!! I am sorry If hurt your feelings. I can understand how frustrating it must be. I will give you the number of this gynecologist blah blah
Me: Hmmmm no answer from me...just a dirty glare.
NI: Hope your in-laws are understanding...
I am sure you must have got the picture by now. I have been asked this question countless times in my life. I have sometimes not been spared even by close friends. They don't mean to be hurtful but frankly it does hurt.
Just like me, an unmarried girl over the age of 25 years will be hounded with questions about marriage. Especially irritating are the people who meet you on chat after a number of years and take it as their birthright to advice you on children and what a loser I am for not having children?
Why is it that we fail to understand boundaries on certain topics?
Some things are restricted and its time people are a little sensitive about others feelings. Few things are close to my heart and I REFUSE to discuss them with the whole world.
p.s: This rant has been festering in my mind for many months. Finally I was bold enough to write it.