A fresh page - A fresh start

There is a sense of realization that life has come a full circle, as I sweep the cobwebs and clean the dust that has gathered on this space. My last post was nearly 10 months back and this period has been one of rediscovery and shedding off my old self.

The last year has been one of rebirth, rejuvenation, testing my endurance and understanding my own strength. Last year, at this time, I had completed my 40th birthday and was lying on the hospital bed, groggy from the anaesthesia and medicines pumped in my body, during my hysterectomy. It was one of the scariest, as well as a very hopeful period of my life. Scary, cause I was worried about the outcome and full of hope because of the promise of a pain-free future. After 7 years of struggling with pain, it was a testing time to know how life will unfold.

I have not been writing much in the past year, not that I did not want to, it was just a decision I took to  rest and recover and find a new direction in life. The period of hibernation has lead to a lot of insights and ponderings about who I am, what I want and where I want to go from here. I had kept my life on hold for a long time. As I slowly gathered strength, both physical and emotional, I realized what life is for normal people.

Having been in a fog of pain, the pain-free existence made me realize that even small things bring me joy. A brisk walk, a bike ride and staying up late to catch up with friends did not put fear in my heart.
Making travel plans on the spur of the moment and traveling in a bus was exhilarating. Small things which are of no consequence to others, were like a dream come true for me.

My morning walks made me so excited that my feet had a mind of their own and very soon I took to jogging. It was a slow progress considering all the inactivity of previous years. Running became a passion for me. It broke all the shackles in my mind and set me free. As my feet pounded on the asphalt and I heard my breaths coming through my nose, I finally felt alive. I felt alive, as I had never felt.


Today, it is the first anniversary of my surgery, and I as I write this post, I feel a sense of elation and satisfaction to see how far I have come, from that day in the hospital.

These days when I run, I leave all my worries and tensions in the dust that my feet kick up. I switch on my favourite music, I put on my headband and I just run. I run to free myself, I run to find myself and I run because I can. Running is now the music in my ears, the open road and a life full of possibilities.

27 comments:

  1. Welcome back, Vinita​! It is so good to see you bouncing back into action. Keep it up and stay strong and blessed. Love and Hugs ♥

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  2. Welcome back. Vinita​! It is so good to see you bouncing back into action. Keep it up and stay strong and blessed. Love and Hugs ♥

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  3. So good to see the new, cheerful you. Like a phoenix you have risen from the depth of despair and pain. Wish you loads of happiness. Lots of love.

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  4. Yay!!! So happy to read your post. Keep it up sis.

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  5. Hey welcome back. I'm a one-time lurker but this post demanded I show up! Completely agree on what you say about running even though I'm barely a runner - more a brisk walker. That feeling of having your music plugged in walking/running oblivious to everything else is just so wonderful. Way to go Vinita. Do keep posting.

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  6. Wow...as usual....no words....feeling fresh to look at A Refreshed..New..Alive..Discovered..Gathered.Strong But Light..YOU...

    .loved few words...feet having mind of their own...wow...I pray to my God to keep you painless all your Life and may your feet dance to the tune of their own Mind always......


    .Your Run brought a breath to my thoughts too...luv u

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  7. LP welcome back.. Happy new year .. and good to see you runnin reminds me I need to do tooooo

    My best wishes always

    Bikram's

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  8. Love you Vinni. With you spiritually. Always

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  9. Welcome back! It's good to see you. You've had a massive year. Exercise is so amazing for mental health, isn't it? When I'm working out, I can honestly feel the stress just sweat away. Good on you for running and travelling and living your life!

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  10. Welcome back Madam! Good to see you up and running!

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  11. Omg.. that is so cool.. welcome back .. hoping to see more of your here ...
    :)

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  12. big hugs and welcome back.. jogging a music and rhythm to your life.. I just love your positive and cheerful self.. :)

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  13. Thanks Shilpa..hugs back at you :) I knew you would be the first to comment :)

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  14. Thanka Rachana :) My that is poetic..hugs

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  15. Thanks for lurking Obsessive mom. I feel any type of exercise just keeps you positive...that has helped me a lot

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  16. Hugs Shraddha..friends like you light up my face :)

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  17. Thanks Joe...yes I am enjoying it thoroughly..

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  18. Hey Bikram...finally you are back as well..Happy New Year to you as well.

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  19. Hey...yes completely agree that exercise is such a great way to be positive and take charge of your life. Thanks

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  20. Hey Ani..good to see you here :) Thanks

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  21. Hey Simple girl...care to delurk? Thanks a ton..and hope to see you too

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  22. I am trying to guess who this is...please delurk...I surely want to know who loves me :)

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  23. Good to know that. Here is my latest http://joezachs.blogspot.in/2015/02/bangalore-to-bengaluru.html

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  24. Vinni...you are a fighter n a greattt person...i admire your courage and zest for good things in life

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  25. So very happy to see you back and so glad that you are finally pain-free! How liberating that must feel indeed!!

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