I have not been writing much in the past year, not that I did not want to, it was just a decision I took to rest and recover and find a new direction in life. The period of hibernation has lead to a lot of insights and ponderings about who I am, what I want and where I want to go from here. I had kept my life on hold for a long time. As I slowly gathered strength, both physical and emotional, I realized what life is for normal people.
Having been in a fog of pain, the pain-free existence made me realize that even small things bring me joy. A brisk walk, a bike ride and staying up late to catch up with friends did not put fear in my heart.
Making travel plans on the spur of the moment and traveling in a bus was exhilarating. Small things which are of no consequence to others, were like a dream come true for me.
My morning walks made me so excited that my feet had a mind of their own and very soon I took to jogging. It was a slow progress considering all the inactivity of previous years. Running became a passion for me. It broke all the shackles in my mind and set me free. As my feet pounded on the asphalt and I heard my breaths coming through my nose, I finally felt alive. I felt alive, as I had never felt.
Today, it is the first anniversary of my surgery, and I as I write this post, I feel a sense of elation and satisfaction to see how far I have come, from that day in the hospital.
These days when I run, I leave all my worries and tensions in the dust that my feet kick up. I switch on my favourite music, I put on my headband and I just run. I run to free myself, I run to find myself and I run because I can. Running is now the music in my ears, the open road and a life full of possibilities.