Monday, 6 August 2012

Open letter to everyday super Idiots


Dear Super Idiots,

Everyday, while driving and even walking around the city, I come across people like you, who think they are God’s gift to humanity. Your arrogant attitude and non sense driving skills has prompted me to write this open letter. Yoo-hoo!! guys, you know who you are and hope you are reading this.I know that deep in your heart you do want to follow traffic rules, but again breaking rules is a matter of pride for you. You still think that being a rebel is in, and have taken it to heart.


The other day, I was in a great mood and was on my way to do some shopping. I was waiting patiently for the signal to turn Green. There were only a few seconds remaining for the light to turn Green, 12,11,10 the seconds ticked away. At that moment, I felt that I was standing at a Derby with restless horses ready to start galloping, the moment the doors are thrown open. I suddenly see you and your friends starting to drive ahead in the incoming traffic just like untamed horses in the wind, and create a traffic jam. Some of you also took pleasure in blowing the car horn at the highest possible decibel to nudge me ahead. For traffic rule follower like me, your horn blast not only shattered my ear drum, but made me literally jump out of my skin. Your disdainful look made me feel like a klutz who has orange jelly in her skull, instead of actual brain matter. Duh! who told you to follow traffic rules, that is for SUCKERS.

Free image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Luckily, my Yoga skills came handy, I did a few rounds of ‘Pranayam’ to calm my mind and to get a grip on reality. Thankfully, at the next junction, the signal was Green and I drove on without a care and a song on my lips. Little did I know, a dark blur crossed my path a few inches from my vehicle. I turned my head and saw that another of your brethren has broken the Red signal and had happily scampered to cross the road without a care for the incoming traffic. I quickly turned and followed him to ask him ‘ Kya Meri hi Gadi Mili thi Marne ke liye?’ (Did you want to die in front of my car?). With a proud look as that of a warrior, you said it is no big deal and that I unnecessarily had my panties in a twist. With rage boiling in my innards, I was ready for a bout, but common sense prevailed and with some belligerent expletives, we parted ways.


Your careless disregard for your own safety is understandable. I understand that it is difficult to process too many things in a Pea sized brain like yours. Even then, I can never understand that how you can put your offspring in harm’s way. I have read, that even Dinosaurs protected their children from any harm. You drive on your scooters, bikes and in your cars with your children and flagrantly ignore signals, stop signs and parking signs. I take all efforts to follow rules whereas you happily make a ‘U’ turn where it is prohibited and all the while your eyes are calling me a ‘LOSER’.


For you, pedestrians are nothing but useless insects, that need to be crushed. In your opinion, people who walk should not have any rights and should be moved to another planet. I would like to enlighten you, that the black and white lines on the road is called a ‘Zebra’ crossing. It is for people to cross the road in relative safety and not for ‘Zebras’ as you had originally thought. So whenever you come across the crossing, please leave it for us poor mortals who use their two feet to go from one place to another. Please park your vehicle a feet behind this crossing and not on it as you have been doing it all along.


I also know that when you visit ‘Phoren’ lands, your eyes marvel at their traffic system. On foreign shores, you become the epitome of a good citizen as you are scared of paying a huge fine. You will not spit, you stop at traffic lights and you will give the right of way to pedestrians. Once you are back on the soil of 'Bharat Mata' , you are back to your old ways. You will break rules and think ‘Sab Chalta Hai’ (Who Cares) and 'Why should I be the only one to follow traffic rules?’. This attitude of yours is what is stopping us from being a better country. Even if, one of you changes because of this letter, I think my work is done. In the end,


Words don’t define idiots, but their actions do.

Yours Sincerely,

A Traffic Rule Follower
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13 comments:

Rachna Srivastava Parmar said...

Nice post, Vinita! I face this behavior regularly as well. It seems to be the norm across India. You might wish to read this post of mine on similar lines:
http://www.rachnaparmar.com/2012/07/driving-troubles-in-india.html

Ash said...

Excellent post! What struck me most was when you said that our people actually do behave themselves in foreign countries! Even I've noticed this. But in india, the very same people think that it is their constitutional right to display a glaring lack of civic sense (including traffic sense)!

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Rachna. I guess people are the same everywhere. Makes me want to scream sometimes. Will check your post..

sunaina patnaik said...

Hahaha! Hilarious post.
This is just so common in India.

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Sunaina. Yes I wish people really do care and follow traffic rules...

Bikram said...

but one day such an idiot will meet another idiot soon and one will be sorted out , hopefully fingers crossed ..


traffic rules in india are meant to be broken, maybe I did the same too when i was there but now that i have seen the other side I think more

lazy pineapple said...

Thanks Ash. People become different in foreign countries and forget that they need to also behave similarly in India.

Shilpa Garg said...

LOL :D Good one!! There are so many of this breed on the roads and wish some sense prevailed in them! It's such a harrowing time with these kind of people carelessly and casually violating traffic rules!

Corinne Rodrigues said...

I don't drive and don't envy people who do - walking on the road is scary enough for me! :)

Lazy Pineapple said...

he he true :)
I think if most of us started following rules the rest will also follow. It is the herd mentality that we follow.

Lazy Pineapple said...

Thanks Shilpa. Yes it is a pity that people don't understand that following traffic rules is also good for them.

Lazy Pineapple said...

heheh true...with no footpaths..it is even more dangerous :)

debajyotighosh said...

hahaha, that was a fun read! being an eternal pedestrian, i just hope people follow traffic rules so that we can survive for few more years. absolutely loved reading this post.

p.s. - read your new post but couldn't come up with a comment, so decided not to.

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