Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Like Mother, Like Daughter

Many girls while growing up imitate their mothers. The girl will dress up in her mothers' clothes, use her makeup, wear her jewelry and of course try to walk in her shoes. My eldest sister did all these requisite things. We have black and white photos of her wearing 'Aai's' (Mother) Georgette saris complete with Bindi and the works. I was never fascinated about wearing a sari or Bindis. Even now, these things don't entice me.



I had thought, Whew! I narrowly escaped from 'Imitating Mommy' syndrome. But yesterday, as I was rinsing out the shampoo bottle to use the last dregs sticking at the bottom before I threw the bottle away, I experienced epiphany. Damn! Cut my head off and feed it to the vultures, I am my Mother.


I am doing the exact same thing my mother does. All my attempts at trying to be different from my mother have not worked. It is, as if after the age of 30, a dormant gene in my body has suddenly taken a life of its own and is commanding me to do the same things my mother does. And that too the same things I had scoffed at, some 15 years back.


Don't get me wrong, I love my mother and I respect her. She is a strong woman and a kind person. I would not want anyone else as my mother (this is for those people, who were ready to pounce on me with their harsh comments). My mom was raised in a lower middle class family and so was my father. They got married when there was extreme rationing because of war. They have always been thrifty throughout their lives. That is the way they were brought up and so that is  the way they are. All said and done, secretly all daughters want to be as different as possible from their mothers.


My mother reuses milk poly bags after she has thoroughly washed them. She uses the bags to pack assorted items while traveling or for packing my lunch. I used to feel ashamed to use the bags when I was younger. Now, I realize that it is so good for the planet, since she is reusing the bags several times. I have started reusing plastic boxes of ice cream or takeout food containers. I use them to store pasta, sugar and other such items.


I have started collecting rubber bands, pieces of satin ribbons and gift wrapping paper. If you peek under my mattress, you will find a layer of shiny, new plastic shopping bags from assorted stores. I have a whole collection of them from places I have shopped from, I fold them and lovingly tuck them under the mattress for later use.


As a teenager, I felt, it was so miserly to squeeze out every last molecule from a tube of toothpaste. Not so any more. If it would have been possible I would have torn apart the tube and licked off the toothpaste. I have not tried this yet, cause hubs will not take kindly to such behavior.


These days, I always try to find the cheapest place to buy groceries and vegetables, even if it means walking that extra mile. Gone are the days when I thought of convenience over cost.


I think it is a waste of electricity and money to keep  lights switched on in passageways. I get anxious quite fast and check all the windows to see if they are locked before I step out of the house or before I sleep. I also check the gas knobs to see that they are shut properly every night.


In recent years, I have become interested in cooking (I just bit my tongue), I cook various dishes, experiment and even enjoy it to some extent. Cooking was always my nemesis but these days I find it therapeutic and this is the scariest change I have ever seen in myself. It is actually bizarre for me to accept it ( I am sure, my sisters just fainted after reading this and so did Mom).


They say (Don't ask me who 'they' is, I have no clue) women start behaving like their mothers, the older they grow. I have seen these signs in my eldest sister since the past few years. My older sister, though not there yet is also showing some signs just like me. The day I start talking about random stuff and hopping from topic to topic at break neck speed, that will be the day I have completed the transformation.

'The apple does not fall far from the tree'

Do you feel that you have grown up to be like your Mother/Father?



P.S: Call me a cheapskate if you want…I am proud of it.

39 comments:

Smitha said...

Is your mother my mother? She does all this too :)

But yes, for a while, I did not want to be anything like her not because she was no wonderful, bt just because I think I was in my phase of rebelling :) But now when I see myself, I see so many things that my mother does, in me. Sub consciously, we do pick up on things from our mothers(fathers).

Smitha said...

LP, I just came back and realized that I have made so many typos :( Multitasking :( Sorry :(

RoseBelle said...

Oh definitely yes! My parents grew up during the Vietnam war and they learned to be frugal and make use of whatever possible. My mom never liked to throw anything away and I remember as a child, I always asked her why she kept piling up on so much "junks". Now that I'm a mom, I find myself piling up on "junks" as well. I save jars and boxes and make use of them for something else. I also find myself recycling the same advice and words of wisdoms to my own kids like "finish your food because there are a lot of hungry children out there who wish they have just a fraction of the food you have for the entire day".

bollywoodstylediaries said...

Yes, I have gown up to be like my mother. In face, sometimes when I dress a certain way, lot of my friends say that I remind them of my mom..Not just physically but in many habits..I love sitting in my backyard and decompressing with a nice cuppa..my mom did that too..I prefer a night of reading to partying:-) and I have become a clean freak..yes, the transformation is complete!!!

Journomuse said...

Why Cheapskate? It's so true isn't it..

Although Im more like my father according to her. In behaviour and temparament. But I was wondering, I used to think my Ma was very boring for working a 10 to 5 job, leaving dot at 9.30 to return dot at 5.30..I never wanted a job like that till television happened.

Ma had the last laugh when she said see how you now think like me? You didn't want the 'boring' life I had, but now you are craving for the very things you disliked.

Psych Babbler said...

I wrote a post like this some time ago where I hit upon a realisation that I was becoming so much like my dad. The things that would annoy me about my dad, I do myself! Such as cleaning, swaering at bad drivers, being a bit too rigid about some rules, hating hypocrites! I am a lot like my mum too though in terms of the stuff you mentioned. I will not waste the last bit of soap instead choosing to stick it to the new bar. I will save plastic bags and take away food containers. But yeah, I think I was shocked when I found I was a lot more like dad. :S

The Ketchup Girl said...

what's cheap about that? All that u said echoed my life in parts with ma. I wrote a similar post about ma- cleanliness,ma and me. Well all those genes are just waiting to surface. And wait some more, you'll be surprised to see how daddy-mummy like you will grow to be.

wannabauthor said...

omg..i dop most of those things..esp d shampoo n the gift paper hoarding stuff. Gud no LP. mind if I steal those ideas for my HUEEs ?:P

Anjali said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gyanban said...

I am at the other end of the spectrum - completely different from my Old man. Our thoughts,process and philosophies have nothing in common except our love and respect for each other.

The wiser I grow - the more diverse I am becoming...and realizing I am more like my grandfather.:-)

Purba said...

I keep hearing it all the time. You are becoming like your mother. Think it's the genes.

magiceye said...

they developed hose habits then due scarcity and now we have to develop them due excesses!
wow!
am sure most of us imitate our parents because they have been our role models thankfully :)

Nu said...

you know what ? For moment I just thought this has been written by me :)

Ditto on each and every thing girl !! even the age thing ;)

And as Smithu said..is your mother my mother ;)

Nu said...

it's always logical in the hindsight :) ..like Comfy's blog says :)

The Holy Lama said...

Nope. Apples always fall near to the tree. The only problem is that you inherit the bad qualities too like cribbing about cupboards that don't shut properly, the motor that doesn't work properly and so on. Things that neither dad or mom can correct on own

Smita said...

I dunno, I feel I have always been a bit like my Mom and a bit like my Dad!! And yes like you I also see myself doing things that I used to redicule in them hehehe...old age :D

But I always say, we are a reflection of what are parents are :)

Boorzhwahman said...

As a friend of mine put it : By the time you realise that your parents were right, you have a kid who thinks you were wrong

Lazyani said...

Oh yes! With every passing year I find myself replicating the behavioral symptoms of my parents; specially actions which I had once thought to have been strange.
And funnily, I find that totallu normal!!

pal said...

LOL! Delightful post, and it made me realise that I have turned into my mum too :-))))

I think its just inevitable.

And at the risk of being called a 'publicity monger' I would like to share this post with u:

http://writerzblock.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/forgiven-55-er-2/

Chatterbox said...

Wow! I actually have a post half written on the very same lines sitting in my drafts.

LP I could totally relate with all you said, I never wanted to be or look like my mum, but ever since I've stepped in the arena of 25 years of age, I have suddenly started behaving and even looking my mum :D :D

I am shocked and my doubts got their confirmation when on so many occasions my hubby pointed this out and so did my dad in so many of my recent photographs ;) ;)

zephyr said...

I love the topics you pick, LP. So many things we take for granted, don't notice and ignore are brought alive in your posts.

Yes, we slowly become our parents, not only in the good things, but also in annoying habits! The last begin later in life, much later! So wait and enjoy them too! :)

Anjali said...

Ok, now that I have picked myself off the floor ( cooking admission of course), my turn for confession.

I have turned into Aai too. My transformation is complete since I even hop from topic to topic, repeat the same stories numerous times. I am currently lacking the "interest in cooking" but that I hope is temporary (otherwise kids and Anand are doomed ;) )

Poor Baba. He is in big trouble. What with the Aai and her 3 clones on his case in December ;)

Indian Home Maker said...

Hmmmm... you know I see a lot more of my dad in me than my mom, in his last years I felt it even more...

My sister is the one who is like her and she keeps telling me this all the time, they are passionate about their work, started working late, love to talk about their jobs, love their personal space and don't want their kids depending on them... lots, lots more :) They even look alike!

Okay here's one - I didn't learn to cook from my mom, but I do tend to cook in a similar style.

I just asked my daughter she says, on the phone I sounds like my mom :)

Monika said...

oh i dread the day i turn into my mother but alas day by day i am turning into one

Shilpa Garg said...

OMG!! This was the thought I had some time ago. I am becoming so much like my mom. And many a times, when I am talking to my sisters, they have told me that I was sounding like our mom! Agree with the cooking part too!!
Loved this post! :)
Cheers :)

Rajlakshmi said...

lolzzz i already am turning like my mother specially when it comes to lecture my bro on healthy food... gosh he even retorted back with "don't act like mom"

Nish said...

All mothers are alike and hence their children are alike and so their children and....the list goes on it seems ;)

That toothpast thigie and a couple others were so eerily familiar!!

Subconciously we all do it i think!

Lazy Pineapple said...

Smitha: Maybe we should introduce our mothers :)

Rosebelle: Glad to know, I am not the only freak collecting plastic boxes :P

Sonali: haha..I don't look my mom at all..I look like my dad :)

Deepthi: ahh many people might call it being a cheapskate..so many people have this attitude of calling people like me just that...

PB: I guess I am a bit like my dad too...yeah..the soap thingy is so common..

KG: hehe I can already see the changes in me :P

Wannabauthor: wow...most of us try hoarding...i guess only what we hoard varies :)

Gyanban: wow, you leaped back a generation..cool..

Purba: Genes and observation....as kids

Magiceye: Absolutely true..what you have said :)

NU: Haha NU..we should definitely meet one day..am too curious now :)

THL: Oh yes..we do inherit the bad stuff too..it is a package deal :)

Smita: Oh yes..me too..I am a bit of both my mom and dad...more like my mom though..

Lazy Pineapple said...

Boorzwaham: well said...I don't have kids yet...

Lazyani: true...but in our teens..we think our parents are crazy..

Pal: I read your post..and no problem..I will pimp my blog too..one of these days ;)

CB: It indeed comes as a shock :) though I don't look like her..I am like my mom in many ways...

Zephyr : that was very sweet of you :)
Yes annoying habits also are adopted...then the transformation gets completed.

Anju: heheh I know poor baba :P

IHM: I guess genes at work :) and also we adopt a lot of mannerisms by observing our parents..

Monika: hehhe..try as you might..some things just cannot be helped..

Shilpa: Thanks dear :)

Raj: women as it is love to mother the men in their lives...am sure you bro will start behaving like ur dad pretty soon :)

Nish: I think...hoarding stuff..is something common with all of us...

Samadrita said...

Lol this is why I always love reading your posts.
In my case I'm more like my father than anyone else.Mom often teases me with the saying that 'all you inherited from me was my complexion' and I keep telling her I'm like HER and not dad. :(
But to be truthful I'd like to be a reflection of both of them! :)
Will be regular on your blog from now on!

Nu said...

i'm all game for meeting..where are you based ?

Destiny's child... said...

Loved reading this. I don't know if I am slowly transforming into my mother. I guess, I'll know only once I am married and have kids of my own. Always on her toes, caring, loving and compassionate. That's how I know my mom. If only I could be half as loving as her. I genuinely hope I do not inherit her habit of finishing everythign that's cooked just so that it's not wasted. Even if you are full. Phew!

le embrouille blogueur said...

Good one. I am not like my parents. They are too nice and I am not. But I can relate to a lot of things that you mentioned (toothpaste) which I have grown to carry on. Enjoyed the walk.

hitesh rawat said...

i remember it.......those small things....which reminds you of your family and you know you have developed to be just like them.....

though i think this is more in mothers and daughters than the fathers and the sons.........

Lazy Pineapple said...

Sam: Thanks sweety :)

Nu: I am in Lancaster Uk at the moment...where are you based?

Destiny's child" My mom too has that Habit...she will never let any food go waste :P

Leb: hehe..they are nice and you are evil? ;)

Hitesh: Yes, I know what you mean :)
maybe you could do a post on how you resemble your dad :)

Meira said...

Ohmigosh! I do these things too. Caught them from my mom. she never taught these to me, I guess I just started imitating her :D

deicider said...

I am like my mom too and wish every day to be even more like her.SHE IS A GREAT WOMAN.

Sowmya said...

I can look like her, act like her but I probably could never be as selfless and giving. Lovely post :)

Rajendra Raikwar said...

awsome

Post a Comment