Most of the Hindi Movies are filled with Clichés. If we watch the first hour of the movie all of us can easily guess the outcome. In fact we can even write the dialogues and the screenplay. This was typical of mainly the movies of yesteryears when the hero was shown to be a man who could do no wrong and the villain was an evil person who was always power hungry and could do no right. The characters were etched out to perform those specific roles.
These days things have changed in Hindi Cinema and you can see a Hero having negative shades in his character. But the habit of tying up the movie in a neat little bundle in which good scores over evil is still the basic formula.
A Hindi movie without some crazy stuff in it will never be enjoyable enough for the viewers. It needs to have some Masala to make it a hit.
Some Crazy Stuff which a Hindi Movie should have :
1) A chase scene :
a)This is a must in every Hindi movie. It could be Hero Chasing the Villain or Villain Chasing the hero or the Police chasing the Hero or Villain. They will perform death defying stunts in the chase scene and blow up a lot of cars on the way.
b)If they are chasing on foot then they will run on a crowded highway with cars and buses passing by, they will push people to make way. The people will move aside but will never call the police.
2) Man of steel:
Hero will bear it all in a fight scene. He will take punches to his gut and get beaten up really bad and still not show any pain. But he will wince when the heroine will clean his wounds. He will always be able to walk and even run after getting a hell of a beating or even a whack on the head.
3) Bullet wounds:
a) A bullet will always hit the hero in the arm or shoulder and he will fall in the river and wake up in a strange bed and is tended to by an old man who has removed the bullet from his hand. He will have a daughter who will fall in love with the hero.
b) Heroine will take out the bullet and stitch up the wound.
c) The hero will sport a bandage on his wounds which will always have a Red spot on it.
4) Musical Genius:
a)Heroes or heroines will play an instrument which will be mostly a Guitar with such fluidity that can put Eric Clapton to shame.
b)They will also sing and dance while playing the Guitar.
c) Miraculously they do not need to move their fingers at all to play. Just moving their hand as if scratching the Guitar is good enough.
5) Eye Candy:
a) Heroines now a days will wear really short clothes with matching accessories and will never have a hair out of place.
b)Wearing body hugging clothes, showing your cleavage and your belly button is a must. Leather boots in Indian weather is completely fine.
c)Wearing a sari and a barely there blouse with just a string holding it all together is another must these days.
d) Heroines will fall in love with the guy who has eve teased them or made suggestive comments.
a) During the last rites everyone will wear white without fail. A white Kurta-pajama for men and a white salwar suit/sari for women is a must.
b) Heroines will be without make-up or very less make-up to show their grief.
7) Horror Mania:
a) People in Horror flicks will either be in the jungle or if they are in a house, it will be at a very remote location surrounded by a jungle.
b) People who know there is a 'Bhoot' (Ghost) or Evil Atma lurking around will continue living there rather than running away.
c) The Spirit will always enter a woman's body and make her kill people.
d) There will always be a Sadhu or a woman with mysterious powers who can catch the evil spirit and communicate with it.
a) There has to be one item number in every movie which is performed by a scantily clad woman in a dance bar or by a village belle in front of a leering crowd.
b) A feet tapping number in a night club or a disco where the leading lady will show her dancing skills without any stage fear.
c) A dream sequence high up in the Alps with snow all around. The heroine again in a chiffon sari and a itsy bitsy blouse whereas the hero will be covered from top to bottom and will
wear really fantastic Jackets and Sweaters.
D) A sad song in which the heroine will wear black clothes and again will be sans make-up or jewellery.
e) It will be mostly raining and the lighting will be scant.
The traditional villain no longer in existence since Hero and Heroines have started playing negative roles these days and there are no longer any stereotypes of Villains from the movies of yesteryears.
a) He will always have the latest gadgets at his disposal. Will be filthy rich and power hungry.
b) He will be a terrorist with his own reason for being one. Mostly he has lost a loved one or is fighting a cause for his people. He will always die in the end and will confess his love for the heroine.
c) The lead actors would be a gang of robbers who would rob a bank/museum for the thrill.
9) The Side-Kick:
a) He or she will be either a complete fat moron wearing spectacles and ghastly clothes or a smart guy but still less smarter or suave than the lead actors.
b) They will be hanger-ons and will never make any use of their own brain.
c) Their entire life will revolve around the lead actors.
10) The comic factor:
a) A totally over the top character who will have his idiosyncrasies and will try to provide comic relief.
b) Making fun of Homosexuals/about people and their habits from different parts of India e.g. Gujratis and their accent, loud mouth Punjabis, lungi clad south Indians who would be labelled as Madrasis.
c) Would be shown as a buffoon.
11) Movie Themes:
a) A love story
b) A war movie
c) A gangster movie
d) A historic movie
e) A movie based on badlands of Bihar or UP(States in India).
f) A movie about college kids
g) A movie on Terrorism or bomb attacks
h) A movie on power hungry and money hungry politicians and their nexus with the underworld.
f) A movie about National Integration.
h) A comedy movie about a simpleton from the village or about the mix-up of identities.
Though most movies will be a combination of some or all of these factors mentioned above. The past few years Hindi Cinema has seen a vast improvement when it comes to storyline and direction.This has led to the creation of wonderful movies like Rang De Basanti, Lagaan and Swades, which have defied the typical format of Hindi movies. I hope and pray that this trend continues and we get to see more and more innovative Hindi films.
I have been missing from this space for nearly a year and a half, but hey! what to do, I was out living my life and learning valuable les...
I know you have come here expecting some dirty talk, right? Let's get down to it then...why waste precious time. I have previously writ...
I recently saw the movie ‘Unthinkable’, a political thriller starring Samuel L. Jackson and Carrie Ann Moss (Matrix), playing as black ops i...
I know that there is no such word, I totally made it up. After reading Psych Babblers post today..something prompted me to write this po...