Monday, 25 January 2010

Nauseous and Cautious

Has it ever happened to you?

You badly need to go, you rush into a public toilet, do your deed and find out there is no toilet paper or water? What will you do in this situation?

Interesting ideas are popping in my mind.

Slow Down, 'gross idea' alert. People with a queasy stomach proceed with caution.

1) Call for help.

2) Cry your eyes out.

3) Clean yourself with the single handkerchief/tissue you carry i.e. if you carry one.

4) Just pull up your pants, walk out and run home to take a hot shower. Dump the clothes in the waste bin.

5) Just pull up your pants and walk out. Spend the entire day in the same clothes and wonder why people are running away from you like crazy loons.

6) Wait a sufficient amount of time for the mess to have dried out, shake your backside vigorously, wait till everything just crumbles and falls off. Pull up your pants and walk off.

(I hope, you haven't chucked up your food, I warned ya....)

What is it about public toilets? The twins, nauseous and cautious become our best pals.
Have you ever confidently walked into a public loo and came out all pleased with a smile on your face?

Well, the smile could be, if you have been holding it in for quite a while and just made it in time, a blissful sigh of relief is quite natural.

I am talking of a situation in which there is no urgency, you are not in a do or die situation. What then?

Ack! I hate to use public toilets but, when you gotta go you gotta go. You will mostly find one or all of the below in a public restroom.

1) The floor of the toilet stall will be always wet with some type of mysterious liquid (I am hoping water).

2) Someone with no toilet training has used it before you.

3) The toilet seat is wet and sometimes spotted with unidentified gunk.



4) Balls of toilet paper are strewn around with mysterious stains. Wyack.....

5) The bin is overflowing and it is nearly touching the toilet seat.

6) The person before you did not have the sense to flush the toilet, after using it.

7) A weird mixture of smells, mostly unpleasant and mixed with that of a room freshener, makes you want to throw up even more.

Most will just walk away without washing their hands and spread their germs around. Some people will take the efforts to wash and will not bother to shut the tap and let precious water go to waste. What is with such people??

My personal policy is to duck into empty stalls and find out the relatively cleaner one. If this is not an option then papering the entire toilet seat (yah yah...I know not very environment friendly). Hey! A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Most people need to be taught 'How to use public toilet's properly' as a part of school curriculum.

Don't even start me about public toilets in India. Firstly, they are hardly ever there and if they are then its better to do your business under the wide blue sky surrounded by fields of grass.

Well then, gotta rush now....nature calls, this call cannot go unanswered.

11 comments:

Smitha said...

LOL! Yes, I think most of us would have come across toilets like this. I have thankfully not been in a do or die situation - yet. And I normally carry tissues and wet issues - thanks to daughter and I never go into toilets without checking if it has toilet paper :) But then I might have just spoken too soon :)

Amit said...

LOL..so true..the best,nee,worst are railway station toilets...thank God they decided to make them Sulabh Shauchalayas(Paid)-at least a bit of hygiene is maintained..once or twice,some years back, I went in to do the 'needful' and rushed out,wanting to do the needful from the mouth,courtesy the terrible smells wafting out from the place...hehe!!And,what about unreserved railway carriage toilets?:)...AmitL

Lazy Pineapple said...

Smitha: Yeah...the experience is awful. Imagine facing such a situation :)

Amit :Eeek...I have never ever in my life gone into a railway station toilet in India. LOL and the toilets in railways wyack......the lesser sais the best..

Anjali said...

Ugh! so true. So true. Hideous. Even my 4 yr olds are picky about the toilet conditions. Luckily, such experiences in the US are fewer. The toilets are fairly decent except the Gas station toilets. Enough said!!

Rohan said...

u were dead bored and didnt hav anything to write about so seriously..........................u write about the filthiest thing possible? u must hav been terribly bored!

Lazy Pineapple said...

Anju: here too in UK the toilets are cleaner but you do have an occasional one which is ghastly

Quirkyloon said...

Ha! Hilarious! And I'm all about #4. Gives you an excuse to buy new clothes.

Lazy Pineapple said...

Quirky: Thanks :) am all about buying new clothes but not because of #4...that would be awful...

indianhomemaker said...

LP I agree with toilet training being a part of school education.

Also, I feel all Indian toilets should have instructions clearly written in bold letters, in more than one languages - including sign language :)

I am all for paid toilets so that someone can be held accountable for ensuring the flush works and the bin is emptied.

I also do the lining the seat with toilet paper, when we travel on the highway, I carry toilet paper in my bag. There is no choice here, if we don't do this we will have to find a place near a railway line or behind some bush.

Rachna Srivastava Parmar said...

So true! I am always apprehensive about entering a toilet wondering what stuff I will see floating around. And, the odor that some people leave behind even after flushing can really make you want to throw up. Airport toilets are horrible too :(.

Lazy Pineapple said...

Yeah..they are disgusting. Thankfully malls in Pune are quite O.K. so I can dare to enter them. I hope I did not make you throw up :P

Post a Comment