Thursday, 7 January 2010

Bedroom Brawls

For some, sleeping is a way to restore body and mind. For others it is a means to escape from the reality called life. When I was younger, it was a much loved pastime. My mother had a hard time waking me up in the morning. 'Just 10 minutes more, mom' used to be my slogan. I tested her patience each morning. I bet, she used be just short of yanking my covers and throwing a glass of cold water in my face to wake me up.

As a child, I had a habit of rolling in my sleep. I was ace at jumping hurdles in the form of sleeping humans and do a crash landing on the floor. Be it at home or in a fast moving train (you know, I am permanently brain damaged because of those jumps). In an attempt to stop further damage, my mom used to build a fort of pillows around my mattress every night. Even that was not a deterrent for me.

Life after marriage is totally unimagined. After marriage, the entire concept of sleep, changes. I bet, you are holding your breath now and waiting for me to out some juicy details.

After marriage, you share your sleeping arena with another human being whose sleep patterns and style are totally alien to you. One day you are happily hogging the bed and second day, a block of person with his own practiced acrobatics is shimmying next to you. You are rudely awakened by strange snorting noises coming from the other side of the bed. You grab the table lamp to defend yourself and suddenly realise that it is the love of your life and he is performing new dance moves with sound effects in the throes of a dream/nightmare.

There are other aspects too, the size of the bed, I mean (don't raise your hopes up, people). As I told you earlier of my habit, I do need a fairly bigger bed to be more comfortable. I always wonder why people in UK usually sleep in teeny weeny beds. It’s damn uncomfortable. We have a queen size bed and believe me it’s a war zone every night. I am jostling for space and elbowing hubby as if I am in a Mumbai local train. A few times, my passion for rolling around has pushed hubs over the edge and dropped him smack on his ass on the floor. To top it, its cold most of the year here and sharing a duvet is not a very pleasant idea and there is no place for two separate ones.

Every night, the battle lines are drawn and careful demarcation is done. Only thing we have yet to use, is a measuring tape to draw a vertical line across the bed. There is a tug of war to get a bigger part of the duvet and bitter accusations are flying around. After much jousting , we reach a truce. We drift off to sleep and are then free to dance and sing to our own practiced tunes.

Now, unclench you buttocks and take a deep breath. Cleanse yourself of impure thoughts. Tch Tch....I expected better from you. Sheeeesh...you people.

5 comments:

AmitL said...

ROFL- great post..and,us innocent people and impure thoughts??Perish the thought..we would never think anything,err,out-of-the-way could happen in such bed-fights..hehe.:)
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Try putting up a bunk queen bed above this one..so, on those days when u need more personal space, one of you can move up...of course, who will move up would create another controversy,but, that'd be great na??hahaha:)
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Inside my inquisitive mind. said...

heheheheheh funny........ Vins even if i sleep on a huge ass King size bed, I'll still fall off the bed!! I remember this incident, Aryaa, janak and I were stayin at a place in goa and it had a big bed and because id fall they made me sleep in the middle, I kept twisting and turning as usual BUT you remember the payals I used to wear in my foot? They kept making these weird sounds and both Ya and Junkie held my hands and feet yanked the payal and threw it away! Off they go to sleep but not before wishing me good night :/

Lazy Pineapple said...

Amit : The idea of bunk beds is great...but so boring to climb up and down and you guessed absolutely right about the controversy...don't want another one :)

Malli: Yeh those payals used to creep me out too....hehehhe and am so glad they threw it away. Ahh peaceful sleep.

Lazy Pineapple said...

Amit : The idea of bunk beds is great...but so boring to climb up and down and you guessed absolutely right about the controversy...don't want another one :)

Malli: Yeh those payals used to creep me out too....hehehhe and am so glad they threw it away. Ahh peaceful sleep.

David bone said...

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