Thursday, 26 March 2009

House wifely Husbands

Things have been really rocking in our corner of the universe. There has been a switch in 'Job Profiles' of the (oh! so typical) dutiful wife and the bread winning Husband.

I know, I know, things are changing in India too. I have met Hubby's who cook and help their wives with chores in the house and take pride in the fact that, they are very different from their fathers. Frankly, no matter how much modern or free thinking Indian men are, very few can actually let go of that typical mentality of bossing over their wives and generally having their own way.

This is not a 'Male bashing Session' but just a general observation on my part and thoughts shared by countless number of women friends.

Where was I? ..umm...yeah the job profile switch...

Getting back to it....

Yesterday, we had invited over friends for dinner. They are 'S' the Hubby('A' s classmate), 'M' (his wife) and two kids. They are Indians and live just next door to us.

With the recent recession, things have been slow for both 'A' and 'S' on the job front. They have picked up projects, but are still waiting for a juicy offer. They both work from home. Whereas, 'M' & I have steady jobs. We both step out of the house everyday and come back in the evening after a hard days work.

The entire burden of household chores now falls on our hubby's shoulders. Right from cooking, cleaning and dusting the house to shopping for groceries and paying utility bills. Its a welcome change for both 'M' and me not to be haggled by household stuff. Its such a liberating feeling.

While having dinner, the men had this conversation

A: How was your day??
S: It was good...just a bit tired.
A: why? what happened?
S: Oh had to get up early in the morning, drop the kids to school and they had made a mess in their room.
A: hm mm
S: I was busy cleaning it till noon.Even forgot to have my breakfast.
A: arre, but why did you not take a break?
S: I just wanted to get it over with and then had to make lunch also...'M' comes back at 2 o'clock from work and she would be hungry.
A: Hmmm 'Aquarius' takes her lunch so I just make something for myself.
S: The work is endless. After I finish making Lunch I load the washing machine and then go pick kids up from school...
A: Yeah even I had to finish some work for my client...
S: I am just so caught up in work that I don't realise how my day gets over...
A: yeah!! I can understand...its the same for me. Quite tiring....

'M' and I just gave each other knowing looks and secret smiles....finally the 'Indian Woman' has arrived !!!!

P.S: Names have been changed for privacy and this post is an appreciation and acknowledgement of all the hard work 'S' and 'A' are doing. This is also a hint to the 'Typical' Indian man to take some pointers from them.

8 comments:

Kaustubh said...

Nice post! Changing names didn't help much...I know them all! :)

But you know, I have had very serious arguments about this topic with a couple of friends (one from MBA and our Indian neighbour across border; the other my classmate since age 6)

They both felt - wife should not:
1. Be more educated than husband (or even equally)
2. earn more than husband
3. should always play second fiddle to husband

It was disgusting to hear this from such well-educated and modern men...who are extreme backward when it comes to their 'supremacy'

My schoolmate ultimately chose a girl less educated...and he made her leave her job when they migrated to the US (anyways, she was earning far less than him, as was his requirement)

But their last point was - You may have different views now, but ultimately you would change once you get married...so let's meet after you get married and then discuss...

well, I will not change an iota of my views...but they wouldn't agree...(shaadi se pehle sab aise bolate hain, baad mein badal jaate hain)

let's see....let me get married first :)

But reading this post - I appreciated both men a lot!!!

Kudos to A and S...you can send those to them, anonymously...to keep my privacy...hehe :)

Aquarius said...

Thanks Kautubh for your candor...yes those men are really very backward and I really despise such attitude..

I guess your attitude depends on who u are and not on the situation...(I was talking about after marriage and before marriage scenario)

Some people inspite of education are not educated.

Anonymous said...
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Mihir Shah said...

Very sweet post. I liked the way you ended the post - instead of deriding, you drove a point home. congratulations for having a great hubby like 'A' :)

Aquarius said...

awww thanks Mihir....for your kind words :)

AmitL said...

Hi,Aquarius-here's a round of applause for A and S..and,a big smile at the conversation between them. Seriously, I don't think anyone should live under the ole misconception of man being the breadwinner and having rights to boss over his wife...though I do agree that that's what is visible in a majority of homes today and more so when there are visitors around...anyway,I guess it's a case of 'to each his or her own'..Thankfully I'm not one of those boss-men and that's what matters!:):)lovely post.

Aquarius said...

Thanks Amit.....yeah as I said most men pretend to be really modern but at core they are still very traditional....and I believe that if a man decides to change the age old thought process he can surely do it....

Aquarius said...

Thanks Amit.....yeah as I said most men pretend to be really modern but at core they are still very traditional....and I believe that if a man decides to change the age old thought process he can surely do it....

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